Maybe don’t lie if you don’t want your secrets to get spilled. 

To lie to the person you just started dating is awful, and I say that as someone who has been on both sides of that story. When you lie just when things are starting, you are condemning the relationship to go downhill. If you couldn´t even be honest with me at the beginning when we were still talking about dumb stuff, how could I ever believe you when we discuss the deeper and more personal topics? As I said, I know what I’m talking about because not only have I lied at the beginning of a relationship, but I was also lied to. That’s why I really do know how it feels, and no, it’s still not okay. 

When you start dating someone, you want them to see the best version of yourself, the polished one that seems more fun, cleverer, and closer to perfect. This makes us feel less confident about our true selves, which, in the end, ends up making us lie to appear as if we were better than we truly are. I was there once; I know it’s hard not to pretend, but I promise you it’s not worth it. Lies go from “Of course I read that book, I loved it” to “There’s nothing wrong with what you did; they were in the wrong”. We know that isn’t true. We know it when it first crosses our minds, and we know when we said it, but it’s always too late to take it back. 

Now, on the other side of the story is the person who has been lied to, who will, eventually, realize that it was all a lie and not trust you anymore. It doesn’t matter what kind of lie it was; what matters is the fact that someone you trust doesn’t trust you enough to tell you the truth about something. This always ends badly. It can be like this story, a very dumb lie with no real meaning, but it still hurts and damages the relationship. That’s why I will always say that you shouldn’t lie, not even about the super dumb things. Say the truth, and if it’s not enough, then that person isn’t the love of your life.