Don’t we communicate frontally anymore?

What happened to “Hi, there is something I’ve been wanting to tell you”? Honestly, though. I get that confronting someone about their perfume can be challenging, but involving HR definitely makes it MUCH worse.

Imagine HR approaching you about your perfume, and you KNOW who reported you. It’s way more uncomfortable than a simple conversation. Well, that’s what happened to the woman in this story.

I know all the fragrance-sensitive people are going to get defensive about this: trust me, I’m sensitive to fragrances myself, and I sincerely think we have to stop making our sensitivity everyone else’s problem.

If we’re struggling to work because someone’s fragrance is bothering us, we should take responsibility for it and not call someone in a superior position to handle it for us.

I know people think involving HR makes matters more ‘clean’ and impersonal, but honestly it just makes them weird. If having a sincere conversation with your coworker doesn’t help, then it might be an option, but choosing the shady path before trying anything else genuinely makes me question your humanity.

This is especially true when we’re talking about something as impersonal as fragrance; you can choose not to wear one out of solidarity, and that’s it. Things change a little if we’re talking about body odor; then it might help not to expose the person who’s making the report and keep things more private.

I remember I dated this guy who had really strange body odor. At first, I thought it was something about his hygiene, but later I realized he smelled the same even if he had just stepped out of the shower. It was really hard to talk to him about it because it might have been a personal incompatibility, like on a biological plane.

I literally stopped dating him because of this after a short period of time. It’s unbelievable how important smell is!